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David Harcourt
Administrator
| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2006 12:41 am |
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There was a news story years and years ago now about a car salesman - somewhere in Britain, I believe - who had become enormously successful through telling the truth.
As I recall it his company was called Budget Bombs, or something similar, and his descriptions of the cars he had for sale were ruthlessly truthful.
And - or so it was alleged - this worked! Sales were wonderful. People flocked from miles around to buy his cars.
I'm beginning to wonder whether this was actually an early urban legend, made up one rainy afternoon in summer by a bored sub on the Surbiton Sun, or Torquay Times, or some other dreary advertising sheet, in order to fill an awkward hole between advertisements.
Why?
Because truth in advertising isn't working for me.
Item:
I have two books by the egregious Tom Scott, Court-Jester-in-Ordinary to the Court of St Helen, which I cannot give away.
I am telling the truth about them. Here's what my lot descriptions say:
I have listed this book under Humour because it purports to be funny.
* When was the last time Tom Scott wrote, drew or said anything which was funny?
* Has he in fact EVER written, drawn or said anything which was funny?
The answers are in this book.
I currently have them listed at $1, with shipping at $1.50, which is about as low a threshhold as it's possible to set for bidders to cross, and here's the result:
Bids: 0 Bidders/Watchers: 0 Views: 0
I was getting a bit discouraged about this when the thought suddenly occurred to me:
Maybe I'm selling the New Zealand public short. Maybe New Zealand agrees with me that Tom Scott is an unfunny, boring little weasel, who spends far too much time sucking up to people of genuine talent and achievement.
So maybe what's bad news for me (because I can't get rid of these books, short of pitching them into the bin) is good news for New Zealand, because it seems that most people won't buy this piffle.
As they say, every silver lining has its cloud. Mine is that I still have the bloody books.
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David Harcourt
Administrator
| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 28 Jul 2006 12:59 am |
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I should also add that I have long suspected that there is a vast subterranean New Zealand public whose members despise people like Tom Scott and Kim Hill and Paul Holmes and the many others who wish to drag the rest of us down to their level of barbarism.
Only occasionally does this population of eloi voice an objection to the behaviour of the morlocks who - in a reversal of the future world depicted in The Time Machine - occupy sunlit meadows, eat well, drink well, and bathe in tubs of public money while we, the eloi, are compelled to live in the grim darkness below.
I remember such an instance some years ago when The Lessener ran an article saying that it was plain that everyone was perfectly happy with intellectual giants like Kim Hill injecting their discount store verities into public radio and television (and, in the case of television, their grizzled visages, without which we could certainly do) because no-one was protesting about this.
A woman I knew from university decades earlier wrote a short letter in response.
"We don't protest, but only because there's no point in protesting," she wrote. "These people are not listening to us, any more than you are. But we do care, and we raise our children to care, too."
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TopRank
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Posted: 28 Jul 2006 06:48 am |
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| try listing it and other assorted bits of crap written by such authors in "firewood". I'm sure you'll do a ROARING trade!
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David Harcourt
Administrator
| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 1 Aug 2006 12:08 am |
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Having failed to sell my two Tom Scott books for a dollar each after listing them for 13 days I have re-listed them at $6 each. This is on the principle that, if they're not going to sell for a dollar, they may as well not sell for $6.
Whether you're all too timid (apart from, inevitably, Tracey) to dispute my contention that Scott simply is not funny I can't tell, of course. Here, in support of that contention, is Scott's effort yesterday to milk humour (or satire, or whatever he cares to call it) out of the misery in the Middle East.
I can't see anyone in New Zealand with relatives on either side of this conflict finding this in the least bit amusing.
But what do you think?
Do you find it funny?
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giraffeinfall
Member
| Joined: | 13 Feb 2006 |
| Location: | Australia |
| Posts: | 193 |
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Posted: 1 Aug 2006 09:09 am |
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David Harcourt wrote: ...what do you think?
Do you find it funny?
Nope. not funny...
maybe you should list him under non-fiction / gospel truth , or summat..
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Ichardray
Guest
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Posted: 4 Aug 2006 03:07 am |
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Not funny at all.........
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David Harcourt
Administrator
| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 12 Aug 2006 12:06 am |
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I haven't been looking at the local news much lately, but I see that Scott has. Here's the humour he has managed to extract from the slip at Kelson.
Hilarious, I think you will agree.
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spike_01
Member
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Posted: 12 Aug 2006 02:14 am |
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Another view point from the local Paper here...  Attached Image (viewed 154 times):
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David Harcourt
Administrator
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Posted: 12 Dec 2006 10:34 pm |
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Nearly five months after I started my campaign to rid my shop of books by the egregious Tom Scott - I had only two of them at that stage; how hard could this be? - I'm still struggling to sell one of them.
For a dollar.
I will post tomorrow (when I have prised from the talons of the female members of my family this morning's copy of the Dominion Post) today's cartoon by Scott. It is the quality of productions like this one which are keeping me in stock of Scott.
Yesterday's sample of Scott's devastating wit:
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jaybee2003
Member
| Joined: | 26 Aug 2006 |
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| Posts: | 273 |
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Posted: 14 Dec 2006 08:01 pm |
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If you still have "Private Parts" for sale, I suggest listing/search linking it under "sex" or "Adult".
I amuse myself sometimes by purposely posting on my weblog with an ambigious subject as a headline. Every single time I post anything that could possibly be related to sex or sexuality, no matter how innocent, the page hits (and comments) quadruple.
It just might sell your book....
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David Harcourt
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| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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Posted: 14 Dec 2006 10:15 pm |
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This is a good idea in principle but, sadly, it is TOM SCOTT'S LIFE & TIMES which has yet to be sold.
I have tried all the immediately obvious categories i.e.:
* Bores
* Phonies
* Labour Party stooges
* Cuddlers Up to the Great in the Hope of Catching Some of Their Reflected Glory
* Court Jesters
* Ghastly Provincial Oiks
and many others besides, but have had no success.
It will have to stay in "Firewood", where it is now. PRIVATE PARTS sold successfully from there, so I am hopeful still.
Incidentally, do you know if there is a collective noun for a group comprising:
* Tom Scott
* Kim Hill
* Michael Cullen
* Dick Hubbard
* Michael Laws
* Laila Harre
* Bob Clarkson
* Sam Morgan
* The staff of Te Papa
If there isn't one, I think there should be one.
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David Harcourt
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 2 Jan 2007 02:13 pm |
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To answer my own question, I think the collective noun needed here is "an egregion".
(Another possibility is "a superfluity".)
Today I have tried again (in auction #83273056) to rid myself of the last Tom Scott book in my shop.
Wish me luck!
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jaybee2003
Member
| Joined: | 26 Aug 2006 |
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| Posts: | 273 |
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Posted: 2 Jan 2007 09:12 pm |
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A fresh year, a fresh page.. a fresh sucker and all that. Good luck!
I have a feeling any buyer of this book will become a Celebrity.
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David Harcourt
Administrator
| Joined: | 12 Jul 2006 |
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 1 Feb 2007 08:33 pm |
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I was still trying to sell my last Tom Scott book.
It is listed in auction #86202177 under "Firewood" and there have been nine views. Maybe it won't sell until winter, when its combustibility will be seen as a real asset, but I'm hopeful of a sale before then.
Meantime, Scott continues to have us all in stitches with his droll sallies.
Someone asked me about yesterday's effort (reproduced below). How, she asked, did this mildly centrist-leaning cartoon fit with Scott's role as Jester in Ordinary to the Court of Queen Helen?
The answer, of course, is that in the not too distant future the armpit into which Scott crawled, hopped or slithered all those years ago (is it really only seven and a half years? it seems much, much longer), when the Labour Government was first elected to office, may not be the place to be if you are looking for largesse, tin to pin to your lapel, and other goodies from the publicly-funded trough.
The smart court jester is the one who watches which way the wind blows. Expect steadily increasing sympathy for National and the Maori Party in Scott's cartoons over the next 12-18 months.
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David Harcourt
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| Posts: | 1074 |
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Posted: 4 Feb 2007 07:56 pm |
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I have sold VINTAGE STUFF by TOM SCOTT!
For $1!
I am soooooooooooooo happy!
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jaybee2003
Member
| Joined: | 26 Aug 2006 |
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| Posts: | 273 |
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Posted: 4 Feb 2007 09:18 pm |
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Congratulations!!! A Momentous Moment.
I am glad someone's day is going well. Actually, mine is going fine, but is frustrating. I had a list of 15 people to ring this morning, But I have only managed to get hold of two. People should be sitting over their phones waiting for my call when I need them!!!.... Hahahahaaaaa...
One business I KNOW is open today but they have left their overnight anwserphone message on..."You have called outside our business hours. Our hours of business are 9am to...."....Hello.. it is now 12.15pm!!! I'm off into town soon and will take great pleasure in letting them know.....
Best of all today, I am going to be spending someone elses money... buying (horse sports) prizes. I looooove shopping!
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